Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Time Wasters

I haven't heard back from that job. They "haven't made a decision yet." It has been two weeks! I am fully qualified. Hire me, darn it! I swear I'm awesome.

But my unemployed status just allows me to find more time wasters for you all.

Time Waster 4: Become completely addicted to "Lost". We started with the first episode about two weeks ago and we just finished season two. I have to warn you that it is time consuming and really unsatisfying because nothing ever gets resolved. But why do we continue to watch? I do not know, but we can't seem to stop.
Time Waster 5: The writers at Shmitten Kitten describe their blog as "
a blog about dating for people who would probably never read a blog about dating." Their categories include: Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend, Bonerkiller, Things I'm Terrible At, I Love Love Guys Who..., and Things In His House That Make Me Sad.

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Make Me Run Across the Street Before the Light Changes
Him: "Come on!"

Me:"Uhhhhhh, the light is yellow."

Him: "We can totally make it. Hurry up!"

Me: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I'm jogging to catch up with him so that I don't get run over by the oncoming traffic thinking about how all I wanted to do was get smooched on this date, not squashed.

WHAT THE FUCK? When did this evening turn into the obstacle course in Double Dare? Do I have to find a flag up a huge nostril next? Maybe catch a rubber chicken in a basket affixed to my head?

When I agreed to go out with him, I didn't expect to find myself in my own, personal live version of Frogger. To be honest, this fancy bra isn't super-supportive. My boobs are flopping around like bouncy balls. And these flats were definitely not made for sprinting.

I thought about just waiting on the curb and letting him risk his life darting into traffic, which I should've done in retrospect. But, I didn't. And, now I'm running for my life. Oh god, someone just honked at me. I'm gonna kill him if I ever cross this street alive.

Their stories never fail at making me feel relieved that I am married to a wonderful man and skipped the whole dating scene. Wahaha to all the unmarried suckers out there.

Time Waster 6: I wish I had spent more time in the city. Overheard in New York makes me want to hop on a plane and listen to other people's private conversations.

...And Hopefully We'll Reach Stairs Eventually.

Tourist #1: We have to go north.
Tourist #2: Well, if north is up, then I think we should keep walking this way.
--32nd St & Broadway

Populated by Ignorant Yet Stylish Tourists?

Girl to friend: I don't even know what Morocco's like.

Friend: Well, they filmed Sex and the City 2 there--that's what it's like!

--M15 Bus


The Way Vampires Hate Garlic

Handsome straight guy: I don't know. Gay boys really like me. I don't know how to repel them.

Girl: You can throw candy at them.

Handsome straight guy: Huh?

Girl: Gay boys hate fatty foods.

--St Mark's Place

2 comments:

Spencer said...

nice. 2 more RSS feeds to help me get through lectures

S said...

"Wahaha to all the unmarried suckers out there." Wow, not cool at all.