Are You Awake?!!

You grow up your whole life sleeping in your own bed, free to sprawl out as you'd like. And then you get hitched and it's supposed to be natural to have a big warm body next to you at night. You both battle for the coveted center of the bed and the one pillow that is somehow more comfortable than the rest. And then you wonder why no one warned you of this when you went to marriage counseling sessions or read those pretentious online articles on how to make your marriage last.

I am talking about this sleeping issue again because The Hubby was sleeptalking a couple of night ago. He is a full on conversationalist in the middle of the night and appears wide awake, even walking around, but then he makes absolutely no sense.

The following is based on my half-asleep memories from that night. The Hubby has no recollection of any of this:

Him: (mumble)
Me: Huh?
Him: There are two boxes. There's a remote control truck and some buildings...
Me: What? Like the terrain model kit we made?
Him: Yeah, something like that. Who has the other box?
Me: I don't know what you're talking about.
Him: Who is out there right now? Which company?
Me: What are you talking about?! In this room?
Him: I know I sound crazy right now, but I'm not. Don't you know the schedule? Who's training? I thought you would know the schedule.
(He gets up to turn on the light)
Him: I felt something crawl in my ear.
(He examines the sheets and the blankets, doesn't find anything, turns off the lights, and then gets back into bed.)
Me: Honey, are you awake right now? What are you talking about?
Him: Yes, I'm awake!
Me: Explain it again. What were you saying? Are you awake?! (I hit his shoulder a few times)
Him: I'm awake!!
Me: Are you awake? I don't believe you! (I hit him again)
Him: Forget about it.
Me: Well, you don't have to be a jerk about it. I hope you remember this tomorrow!!
Him: (Scoffs)

I asked him about this incident the next morning and all he remembers is walking around for a bit and feeling something in his ear. The Hubby has ordered me not to engage in conversation with him when he talks at night again.

It's a good thing I am not working and can sleep in or else I would be a miserable bitch in the mornings.


Spencer said…
this was weird until he started getting impatient. then it got funny hahaha